I am really curious, and I am curious how people spend their day? How it is like? How is their schedule like? Their routine like? What do they want at the end of the day?
I see those who can live with routine, those who just autopilot, and those who just do the work for the sake of doing it. The fact that I want to have a life, and do not know fully what life I want yet, I still every day make sure I do my research.
How should I start this?
Let me start from where I quit my job…not really pleasant right? I want to start from minus the thing I do not want. That is at least what I can do when I do not know what I want yet, don’t even mention what I love to do. I do not know. The fact is that even you find what you love, it might change or it might be more that you do not know yet.
I know what I do not want from experiencing it. My full-time job, is what I do not want and I quit. The unsatisfaction and feeling like I live by the society safe net, I have to close my eyes when my heart questions my inner authority with the society standard rules. I do not think that I should wait until I found what I love then that I can leave my job, let’s be real, without exploration and having enough time to focus on the journey I do not think it will happen. Taking risks is what required to gain experiences that lead us far to that love we are seeking or yearning for.
Keep the beginner mind, do not afraid to restart and press refresh. The bravest thing you can do for love is to empty your space from time to time along the journey, let it goes, allow nature to take its cause, so you can gain clarity and the right thing can hit on your empty space. Of course, quit job with some savings to go by, sustainability is the core to keep our well-being while sailing for treasure.
What else I do not want? My unhealthy drinking habit with the excuse of “just 2 glasses”? hang out toxic pattern? Stare at the laptop endlessly for random stuff and feel suck?
Now I have more time, so where and what do I want to spend my time on? Grab a paper and write down my favorite things and things I want to try to do. The unwanted list gives me a hard time to actually stop, and now the wanted list gives me a hard time to actually start.
One by one, I find flow in some of the new things or the activities that I try. Of course, it comes with prompt, motivation and my capacity in the moment. Those activities that I find the flow, joy and peace in doing tends to stay with me and it inow depends on how much time and energy I have in a day to enjoy them. Weirdly, I also start to bump into new exciting things as well as right timing invitations. I also start to set up goals in numbers that I can calculate and reward my mind.
I start to see clearly my values in life and one thing I find that what most of people value in life is relationship. Maybe you agree or disagree, to me I want to make sure that I do not wake up finding myself on the bed with someone I am not sure I choose him at the time or find myself pleasing a group a friend who I know deep down are toxic, or resist love when it means to be. This is a super deep OSHO topic, I can’t do all the talking here.
One thing is, it doesn’t always feel easy, there are days that are just abnormal. Through those kinds of day, I will take a double self-care.
This is where the magic happens, when we start to get to know more of what we want, and what we don’t, know our values, and start to direct our energy into the right things we start to have momentum and habits that serve us right and keep us healthy. These acts attract love. It doesn’t feel like sudden dopamine, it is the joy and peace in our heart, the calm and stillness at the end of the day when the sun prepares to go down.
We grow without noticing while disciplining ourselves into doing what we want and choose to, we are learning to love, we start to see who we are deep down. Those things we find come to us in the form of coincidence, but it is actually not really just merely a coincidence, it is what we say “means to be”.
